TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
“Do you have any gum?” Kayla Wakefield asked her Uber driver.
“No, I don’t have any gum, but I do have some cognitive enhancement supplements,” replied the driver.
Not pausing for Kayla’s response and seemingly without drawing breath, the driver launched into a well-rehearsed sales pitch.
“Have you seen the movie Limitless? Wouldn’t it be great if there was a pill just like that? Well, Kayla, there is!”
“That’s exactly what’s in this bottle. Now, it’s not on the market yet but how would you like to try a bottle?”
“It’s free! For the first seven days you can trial it and see the results for yourself, then after those seven days you can buy more and sell them on to your friends!”
“I know this sounds too good to be true, but it’s not! There are no gimmicks, no gotchas, just a great opportunity.”
“Um nah, I’m good thanks. You can just pull over here,” Wakefield said.
It’s understood that Kayla ended her rideshare journey a lot earlier than intended purely to escape the barrage of bullshit coming from her Uber driver.
“If the supplements are so good, why is this bloke still driving Ubers to flog them off instead of being picked up by some multinational vitamin company?”
The Advocate can confirm that it’s because the products they’re selling are no good and most likely part of some pyramid scheme.
More to come.
