ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Some silly old fuck from Betoota Heights that walks around town with his shirt tucked into his Gazman shorts, leaving a fleshy apron of gut hanging over his creaking braided belt, reckons our woes in India will be solved when Pat Cummins resigns and former coach Justin Langer comes back to whip some arse.
After two pretty bad losses in the subcontinent, Australian cricket fans are searching for answers. Among the walking heart attacks of our town, the general consensus is that it’s our captain’s fault.
When in reality, it’s a myriad of reasons that stem from the fact that the pitches are a bit crook and there’s not much experience on wickets like this in the Test team at the moment. Plus, the Indians have an exceptionally good team at the moment with the likes of Ravinda Jadeja averaging 46 with the bat and 24 with the ball since July of 2017.
Similar to if Usman could bat like he does but bowl like Starc.
Nevertheless, Glenn Pole spoke to The Advocate and shared his irrelevant opinions. While they are irrelevant and rambling, they’re newsworthy because it’s people like Glenn still clog up society like bits of hot chip and and Longbeach clog Glenn’s aorta.
“He’s a lefty,” said Glenn.
“He’s woke, too! He’s got to go. You can’t be mixing politics and cricket like that. Nobody has ever done that before and for good reason.”
Glenn’s face started to glow and his lips curled.
“This never would’ve happened under JL! He’s a living legend of the game. He’s tougher than anyone in that team. What Cricket Australia and lefty Cummins did to him was disgraceful!”
“It just gets me so worked up!”
More to come.
