WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
There’s some exciting news for fans of accountability and transparency today.
The Federal Government has confirmed that it will commit to a Commonwealth Corruption Commission.
Titled the Commonwealth Integrity Commission, the body will be headed up by an 11-year-old pug named Kobie.
This comes after calls were renewed for someone to investigate corruption at a federal level after yet another high-ranking politician in NSW got rolled by the ICAC last week.
As it stands there is currently no independent commission to investigate politicians with huge amounts of power and influence who behave in a suspect way.
“This is exciting news,” said Prime Minister Morrison, who had previously said that there was no need for accountability in Canberra.
“Kobie will hold an inquiry on the 1st Tuesday of November every year to investigate matters relating to corruption,” he said.
“We will definitely make sure that he isn’t allowed to run around in the park for half an hour before the hearing.”
“I would just like to point out, that he won’t be able to investigate matters relating to senior politicians,” he said, clearing guys like Angus Taylor who had water licenses owned by a company he established bought by the Commonwealth for 80 million dollars without proper process.
“Or politicians who have retired,” he laughed.
“So don’t worry Andrew Robb, you are fine mate,” laughed the PM about the former Trade Minister who gave a Chinese company a 100-year-lease to the port of Darwin before quit politics and getting a job with the company.
“And he actually won’t be able to make any findings, he’ll just refer it to the police to not investigate properly.”
“Who says this government is afraid of accountability,” finished Morrison.
“Now, let’s talk about how I saved the Ashes.”
