ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A French Quarter barfly remarked to our reporter this morning that he finds it nice to see kids putting their phones, tablets and PlayStations down for a change and deriving some fun from the great outdoors.
When asked what he meant by that, 79-year-old day drinker Max Near-Ross said he was referring to those kids “down there in Sydney” who allegedly burned down a building last week.
“I just think that would’ve been the funnest thing in the world,” he told The Advocate in the smoking pokies at the Gelded Seahorse this morning at 9am.
“But can you imagine them that night? Gosh, they would’ve been tossing turning [laughs] kung-fu fighting the sheets. Oh, the very thought of it makes me giggle. Those kids. Oh blimey, they’re in so much trouble. Allegedly,”
“You know, it’s nice to see kids having fun outside for once. Kids these days are all wrapped up in their phones, their tablets. Getting on the Donkey Kong and whatnot. It’s terrible to see. You know, you have these kids these days, you see them and they’re just little balloons they are. Afraid of the sun and they spend all their time on computers, it’s terrible,”
“I just hope the police and the courts aren’t too hard on these kids. I mean, it’s pretty much a victimless crime, isn’t it?”
Our reporter again asked him to explain what he meant.
“Oh, like you know the place was insured out the arse. Nobody was killed and sure, I mean some yuppie’s outdoor furniture caught on fire and other office blocks were damaged but it’s all insured so who cares? Does your heart go out for insurance companies? They’re the biggest crooks in this country, mate,”
“Anyway, can I borrow $20? That fucking Pelican Pete over there gobbled up the last of my pension.”
More to come.
