Australian vice captain David Warner has today been told to sit out the rest of the South African series by team doctor Peter Bruckner.

This comes after footage has emerged of Australian vice-captain David Warner having a fiery exchange with Saffas wicketkeeper Quinton de Kock in a stairwell at Kingsmead in the tea break on day four of the first Test.

It is believed de Kock made a joke by pretending to put his cardboard Gatorade cup on Warner’s head, as thought it was a bar table.

The confrontation became so heated that Warner had to be held back by teammate Usman Khawaja, with wicketkeeper Tim Paine also attempting to calm Warner down.

Prominent among Australian sports stars, Short Man Syndrome is described by the American Medical Association as a debilitating ailment suffered by men small in stature, who attempt to overcome the way they believe other people perceive them (as a diminutive character) by 1) attaching themselves to authority figures, 2) trying to manipulate themselves into positions of control, 3) migrating toward positions of leadership, and 4) having a fairly volatile temper.

“We just need to nab this in the bud” says Dr Bruckner.

“We don’t want it sticking around, and possibly worsening over here”

It was the second charged up spray delivered by Warner since crossing the Indian, after the wild Westie was scrutinised over his conduct in celebrating the run-out of AB de Villiers, although South African centurion Aiden Markram on Sunday night played down the episode.

Dr Bruckner says that in the short term, this diagnosis has the potential to affect the momentum of the team due to stupid little tiffs in change rooms, but also could stick around long enough to cause serious damage to his career and bankability as one of the few Woman’s Day-friendly cricketers.


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