In some breaking news out of the United Kingdom, it is looking increasingly likely that Peter Siddle may get an Ashes recall for the first Test beginning tonight.

The news comes as insiders suggest that Josh Hazelwood and Mitchell Starc will be dropped for the first Test, with James Pattinson and Peter Siddle taking their places in the lineup.

However, Justin Langer has revealed to The Advocate that if Siddle does indeed get the nod in a few hours time, it’s under one condition.

That he stops bombarding the rest of the players with vegan propaganda.

Speaking to us moments ago from the early hours of the English morning, Langer explained that he hasn’t 100% settled on Siddle just yet.

“He needs to refrain from posting any of his militant vegan stories and memes in the boys chat for the next couple of hours and the spot is his,” Langer said.

“We are all trying to be nice guys, so no one wants to tell Pete to take his healthy Vegan bliss ball recipes elsewhere and he hasn’t taken the hint.”

“I mean, we are all pretty new age spiritual nice guys in this team, but we don’t want to just get by on rabbit food, so he needs to back it up.”

“So that’s why I just laid down the law. And if he abides by it, well he’s on.”

“Thank fuck he’s not a cross fitter at least.”


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