LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In world first, the Penrith Panthers and Brisbane Broncos will be facing off in the NRL Grand Final which means The Advocate are proud to announce we’ve got a Fanning-Off on our hands folks.
Lead singer of Powderfinger and serial Hottest 100 winner Bernard Fanning is seen as a Jesus like figure in Brisbane who is said to turn water into XXXX and is credited as getting Australia through lockdown with the Powderfinger One Night Lonely concert.
Down in Penrith town, local lad and surfing champion Mick Fanning AO is revered by locals for shattering stereotypes and proving that westies can indeed swim, surf and fight sharks.
Although the two claim no blood relation, the two lads who have brought pride back to their ancestral Irish town Fanningstown, Limerick, now surely see each other as brutal rivals.
“This is a bit of nothing story isn’t it?” asked Bernard Fanning, responding to The Advocate while proving he must never read rugby league journalism.
“No, I will not look into the camera and say ‘it’s a Fanning-Off’.”
The Advocate then presented our cleverly edited footage of Bernard saying “It’s a Fanning-Off” to Mick Fanning who provided the following statement:
“Oh, it is on Bernie! The Fanning-Off is happening and your little ponies aren’t gonna know what part of the glue factory they are in when the men from the foot of the mountain hand you sooks your participation medals!”
“My whole bloody career people have thought I’m related to backwater northern scum like you with your Queensland-centric rock music that dominated Triple J for years.”
“Well times have changed Bernie. OneFour is dominating the festival circuit and the Penrith Panthers are about to notch three on the trot”
“I propose the loser of the Fanning-Off must secede the name Fanning and take the surname of the winning coach. Does that make sense to you Bernard Cleary? Does it?”
“Fanning-Off 2023! Lessssshgooooo!”
MORE TO COME.