28 August, 2016. 14:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

THE SOURDOUGH HAS never tasted so sour.

The wage-earning coffee professional who tried in vain to smash an unripe and out-of-season avocado on it has only done a slightly better job than what Alasdair Davis-Whitney reckons the Wallabies did last night in Wellington.

“Sometimes, I don’t know why I waste my frequent flyer points on coming over the New Zealand to watch the Wallabies,” he said.

The 24-year-old spoke to The Advocate briefly this afternoon via Skype, where he explained that if the land of the long silver cloud didn’t have some of the greatest skiing in the southern hemisphere, he’d never make the effort.

“We like to make a week of it, you know. A day or two for the jet lag and then we’re on the slopes until the Wallabies arrive. But in recent years, I mean, like the past fourteen or so, the trip just hasn’t been worth it!”

“Wellington is charming this time of year. The coffee here is excellent and the local cafes here rivals the Brisbane scene. I certainly hope Cheika has a plan for the Grand Slam tour at the end of the year. It’s going to cost me a fortune to travel over.”

The third-generation emerging markets trader agrees that the 29-9 loss to the All Blacks last night has ‘really put a dampener on the festivities,’ but he won’t let a simple game of football ruin the rest of his mid-year break.

Planning to arrive back in Sydney some time before September, Davis-Whitney said the rest of the trip will be spent socialising with his other friends from school who’ve made the trip as well.

“I guess we’ll put the girls on the plane and get up to no good. Do you know where we can get blow in Wellington? I know a guy in Christchurch but that’s not very close, or is it? We need to get some sluts around us. I’ve got to be back at work by the 4th.”


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