ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
“The drought affects a whole range of industries, not just agriculture,” he said.
“We might not make good television or sell newspapers with our stories of woe but let me tell you something for free. We brickies, builders and unskilled shit-kickers haven’t had a rain day in almost three years,”
“Do you know what that does to a man? What it does to a brickie’s soul? No, you wouldn’t.”
Speaking candidly to The Advocate this morning at the Betoota Height’s hi-vis takeaway institution, Helen’s Ventricle Blowout Canteen, Stevie Proctor said he longs for drought-breaking rain because he needs a day off badly.
The 33-year-old over-confident Leo did concede that if he did have a rain day, he’d probably waste it ripping cones and playing Star Wars Episode I: Pod Racer on his Nintendo 64 he won in a bet 12 years ago.
“But that’s heaven to me,” he said, wiping the Dare Iced Coffee milk moustache off his face with his bare forearm.
“What a brickie does with his rain day is between him and God. Speaking of God, if he’s reading this, get off your fucking cloud and give us some rain, you fucking idiot. People are doing their arse out here and you’re probably off pashing John Lennon or something fucking crook like that! Fuck!”
Helen called out Stevie’s order number and he paid for his works burger and sausage roll with a fistful of coins.
“It’s fucked,” he said.
More to come.
