ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
According to a recent study by South Betoota Polytechnic College, Chinese tourism to Australia has reportedly decreased due to fears of submarine attacks. The study suggests that Chinese tourists believe Australia has purchased submarines for the purpose of killing Chinese military personnel should get start a war in 40 years’ time.
Despite the Australian government’s denial of such claims, the fear among Chinese tourists has persisted, leading to a decrease in tourism. Chinese visitors reportedly believe that the submarines are part of a larger plan by Australia to strengthen its military presence in the region and potentially claim the semi-autonomous New Zealand islands.
The Australian government has emphasised that the submarines were purchased for defensive purposes only, and not to attack any foreign country. The submarines were ordered as part of Australia’s strategy to enhance its naval capabilities in the Indo-Pacific region.
In response to the decrease in Chinese tourism, Australian tour operators are seeking alternative ways to attract Chinese visitors, such as promoting the country’s natural beauty and cultural experiences.
One local operator said the state and federal governments need to step up and make people from China feel welcome.
“Mate, we’ve been dying Lake Betoota a dark shade of pink for years to compete with that one in WA,” said Sam Huxley of Huxley’s Overland Adventures.
“I’m doing my arse on the dye. We haven’t seen a return to COVID numbers yet, my amphibious tour truck has never been this empty for this long. That Albo needs to learn a bit of Mandarin and get over there to make peace, I have repayments on this thing and the interest is stretching my arse like an old scrunchie.”
Sam shook his head.
“They could’ve just said we are getting new nuclear submarines to shoot whales or something. Shoot anybody. We could’ve picked someone random like the bloody South Africans. Don’t get me started on them! They know everything!”
“We could’ve told the Chinese that we wanted to get the dog up the South Africans with these new subamrines and they would’ve said, ‘Mate, we will help you get the dog up them’ and everything would be great. Farmers can sell their barley, the wine heads can sell their Penfold’s brain varnish and I can have an amphibious truck full of tourists,”
“Instead, we’ve got fuck all! Fuck me!”
More to come.
