KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
In good news for the nation’s X Games fans, scientists at the Australian Institute of Sport have released some pretty hectic findings this morning, announcing a direct link between the length of a rats tail on a teenager and the ability to cut sick on a Razor scooter.
A hairstyle often spotted at regional skateparks and local rivers that have a rope swing, the study confirms long held suspicions that a rats tail is the mark of a kid who commands respect in a council funded halfpipe.
After hosting an 8-week extreme sports camp in Canberra and studying the skills of several young prodigies, the AIS has can confirm that kids who can do a double tail whip or a backflip are more likely to flaunt a ratty, which they tuck behind their ear on the days they actually attend school.
The new findings however have come with a warning for all city-based teenagers, who are preparing to flood coastal and regional skate parks across the country over the Christmas break.
“Whilst it’s clear the owners of such hair styles are athletically gifted on the Razor scooter, they’re also highly volatile and are open to street violence when provoked,” said Jesse Spencer, the lead researcher on the project.
“Particularly when some yuppie kids from the city turn up in their skatepark flaunting flashy new Nikes they got for Christmas, the young skate rat is likely to spit on their suede sneakers, or worse threaten to bash them for taking up too much space on the quarter pipe.”
The AIS however says it will capitalise on the findings by asking all Aussie skateboarders planning to compete at the 2024 Paris Olympics to start growing a ratty before the competition.
“We know what the ratty can do for scooter masters, so we’re excited to see if it can boost our chances of gold at Olympic street sports.”
“At worst, it’ll make our Aussies look pretty sick at the Olympics, we might even get them to dye them green and gold.”
