RORY SALAZAR | Government | Contact
Retired Army Lieutenant Colonel, David Wilson (65), is spinning wildly out of control.
That is not to say he has placed his head down on top of an upright baseball bat, and then quickly spun himself in tight 360 spins while his head remains touching the top of the bat. No, Wilson’s spin is a metaphorical one and more related to his problematic gambling habits.
The Advocate is here to tell you that the Betoota Ponds-based former officer has always loved a punt. And now that he is retired with a broken body and nothing better to do, Wilson spends his days and most of his evenings down at the Betoota Dolphins Leagues Club ploughing his wonderful Army pension into the hundreds of pokies that the Club boasts.
Wilson is also no slouch when it comes to keeping up with the technological Joneses, and since he discovered betting apps, his problem gambling has turbocharged itself and sped off into the atmosphere faster than the DeLorean in Back to the Future.
Multi-bets, bet returns, bet with mates, yes the Vietnam veteran loves all of the features that his chosen online betting agency throws at him.
Unfortunately, the Advocate is forced to report that unbeknownst to Wilson but beknownst to his betting agency, he is letting the team down by continuing to gamble irresponsibly.
“Hasn’t he seen our ads?” An executive talking head from his chosen online betting agency told the Advocate via wireless telephone earlier today.
“I know we make 80% of our profits from our problem gamblers but still, he’s really letting us down by not gambling responsibly.”
“Surely he’s seen our ads,” he repeated. “They’re on every window in every bus stop on every sports program in every school kid’s lunch box for crying out loud,” said the talking head with genuine sorrow.
“What more can we do?!”
The Advocate approached Wilson to find out. We caught the man simultaneously losing $85 on a 20-leg multibet across 8 different sports, including a leg of pigeon racing in Idaho, and $50 that got sucked into the pokie machine in front of him and evaporated on the first spin. We asked him to stop and think about how this was affecting his chosen betting agency.
It was obvious Wilson was rocked by what our team had said. Clearly, he had not considered the negative effect his problem gambling was having on his chosen betting agency. Wilson put his head in his hands and began to sob.
“I’ve ignored their ads for too long, I know it,” he admitted. “That’s it. From this day onwards, I’ll only gamble responsibly.”
Wilson beamed a confident smile, before becoming confused, asked: “How the hell do you gamble responsibly?”
The Advocate doesn’t know.
