KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local Priest is suffering a severe case of writer’s block this afternoon, struggling to make any headway into the first draft of his 2021 Christmas sermon.
After a year of extended lockdowns, global financial instability, mass death and hospitalisation, it’s believed Father Patrick Hasler (63), Parish leader of Betoota Heights New Faith Church, is at a loss to explaining why God decided to cause widespread societal distress through the vehicle of a once in a lifetime pandemic.
Speaking to The Advocate, Father Hasler has admitted for the second year in a row, he’s struggling to justify the choices of the eternal supreme being and colloquially recognised ‘Big Fella Upstairs’, our Lord God and Saviour.
“It was hard enough trying to write the sermon last year and the year before,” said Mr Hasler.
“It’s bloody tough to sell the message of God’s all-loving, all-knowing, wonderous omnipresent power when half the country’s up in flames”.
“Also it didn’t make it any easier that the Prime Minister and self-appointed halfback of our God Squad, decided to go on a holiday while the country burnt down.”
“That didn’t exactly boost God’s message of everlasting compassion either!”.
Speaking privately to The Advocate, Father Hasler has confided that this year he’s also considering changing the lineup of hymns for the traditional Christmas mass.
“Look, all I’ll say is I don’t think I’ll be opening up the service with “All Things Bright and Beautiful” this year.”
“With lyrics like ‘All things wise and wonderful, the Lord God made them all’, it’s hardly going to go down a treat now is it?”
“Pretty sure half my congregation would happily stomp on that dasted Pangolin if they saw it appear on the Church steps, so I’ll be giving a song that sings ‘God created all characters great and small’ a miss.”
After lengthy chats to Father Hasler concerning his Christmas material, The Advocate understands the local priest is preparing a series of topical Ashes based cricket jokes, in an attempt to distract the congregation from the glaring red flags in God’s plan for world peace and equality.
More to come.
