LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Folks gathered round to witness the wonder that was at a 21st birthday party this weekend.

Uni student Lincoln Halloway (21) turned 21 on Saturday and partook in a traditional 21st birthday party involving yard glasses, a slideshow of baby photos using every possible transition and not being able to pick up because his mum & dad were there the whole night and all the girls there were his friends.

Halloway’s 21st took an unexpected and rebellious turn against tradition as father of the birthday boy Harvey Halloway (45) made a heartfelt speech about his son, sincerely complimenting him and not insulting him even once. 

“You’re mum & I are so proud of you,” stated Harvey, despite the fact his son is studying Communications. 

“You are my best friend. My rock. The foundations on which not only this family rests but society sees as the starting point for brilliance. You are an inspiration to men, women & children everywhere.”

Choosing to forgo the classic backhanders such as “born a day early…the only time that’s happened,” and “21 years ago I had the most amazing little boy…I don’t know what happened to him!” Harvey spoke of his son as if he was someone who had cured COVID or ended apartied. 

“It was an emotional speech but fuck, his dad completely forgot to belittle him in front of everyone,” stated one party goer who celebrated their 21st listening to his dad treating him like dogshit.

“They way he went on it was like Lincoln beat cancer as a baby.” 

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