ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A French Quarter lawyer that has a very competitive hourly rate but is ultimately not very good at shielding his clients from the wrath of the Crimes Act has spent the afternoon perusing the End of Financial Year bargains at Hush Puppies.
The American shoe manufacturer is famous for making footwear for people with bad hips and eyes that don’t really work properly, either, but solicator John Dalpooley explained to The Advocate that it’s the comfort that keeps him coming back.
“As a small town lawyer, I spend a lot of time on my feet,” he said.
“Whether is being humiliated by prosecutors or having a magistrate speak to me like I have a mental disability, it’s hard yakka. But at $75 an hour, I can’t be beaten.”
Mr Dalpooley prides himself on being a one-man-band operation.
“I put on a funny voice when people ring the reception. I’ve lost business in the past trying to pretend to be a female when people ring the front desk. I’ve stopped doing that now. I used a British accent now when people call the front desk. Could you imagine getting caught with drugs and calling a lawyer, only to find a man pretending to be a woman on the other end of the phone? So yes, I’ve stopped doing it,” he said.
“So I had a client today who is facing his 7th drink driving charge; this one is also accompanied by a charge of driving while disqualified, evading arrest and assault police. Obviously as his lawyer, I have my work cut out for me. But as we left our meeting down at the pub, I ducked into the lavatory to piss before I got drove back to work. I must’ve slipped at the urinal, my foot shot into the trough and I immediatly felt a damp sensation on my sock. My shoes had a hole in them,”
“So here I am, perusing the selections at Hush Puppies. As they are work shoes, I can write them off.”
More to come.
