Latest Water Bill Suggests Mum Must Be Growing Cotton Out The Back

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

June Daily, and more so her husband Rodney, got a rude shock this afternoon upon opening their latest bill from Betoota Waterways.

“Jesus Christ, Juney!” proclaimed Rodney.

“Someone’s stealing our water, we’ve got a bill here for over $1000”

It’s believed that June initially wasn’t sure how to let Rodney know that she was in fact the reason for the astronomical water bill, not some non-existent water thieves. After a short pause she mustered the courage to reveal the truth.

“Ah, Rodders, darling… it wasn’t thieves”

“It was me, I’ve been trying to keep the garden alive”

At this point Rodney asked to know what the hell could need so much water.

“Have you lost your mind?”

“What garden uses $1000 worth of water in 3 months?”

“Are you growing bloody cotton out there?”

The Advocate has is on good authority that June is not growing cotton in her backyard, but rather a range of rare non-native species that require a considerably higher amount of water than most native species.

With Rodney now on to her, June is in a real panic about her garden.

Reports say that she has been asking neighbours if she can syphon water from their water supply, which she will pay for at an inflated rate.

It’s not yet known if and arrangements have been made.

More to come.