KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local bachelor has flaunted his best attempt at an NBA tunnel fit tonight as he heads to a servo to buy some dinner.
The Advocate can report Brandon Landale (26) from Betoota Heights was spotted entering the Ampol roadhouse on Ingles street at 6pm this evening, on the hunt for a Gatorade and whatever hot, salty food was still available in the bain-marie.
After spending his day on the couch playing FIFA and watching the NBA finals, it’s believed Brandon decided he needed some dinner and electrolytes to complete his slobby Sunday.
Leaving the house cosplaying as an MMA fighter about to head to a weigh in, The Advocate believes Brandon’s recent bandwagon obsession with the NBA inspired him to try and rock the Nike sock n’ slide combo, a cool street style often nailed by professional athletes on multi-million dollar salaries.
Now trudging into the servo wearing a pair of scummy black Nike slides that he’s been wearing since the summer of 2019, witnesses say Brandon had put the final touches on his NBA fit by wearing a pair of shin-length basketball shorts and his favourite yellow Lakers hoodie, which features a few red curry stains on the cuffs.
No stranger to the importance of hydration, Brandon decided he’d supercharge his Sunday recovery with a maxi-sized sports drink and a box of weird American cereal he spotted next to packets of Reese’s Pieces.
Speaking to our reporter outside the servo, Brandon asked The Advocate to ease off the judgement, given it was a chilly Sunday night.
“Go easy mate, it’s still the weekend,” Brandon deplored, as he ripped open the cereal box and dry-mouthed a few gulps of Lucky Charms.
“I’m just trying to get some fresh air mate, I don’t need all this judgement.”
More to come.
