EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A couple have been told to kindly please shut the fuck up, after telling anything anybody and everybody that they’re rooting like rabbits.
It’s alleged Dion and Penny Hill came down hard with a case of the baby rabies, and have collectively decided to suck out all the fun out of having sex by making it a chore i.e abstaining from coitus until Penny’s ovulation, because Dion apparently needs to save up his swimmers.
And though this is all well and good for them, they’ve decided to involve everyone in their business – including their family, who are weirdly fine with hearing about their sex life all of a sudden.
“Oh my god, we are EXHAUSTED”, says Penny, to her grandmother, “trying for a baby is a lot of work.”
Dion, who looks as though the life has been sucked out of him, confirms that yes, it is very tiring.
“Yeah Penny’s fertility window is only five days long, so we pretty much just stay in bed the whole time haha.”
“Then on her peak day, I’m pretty much just docked in.”
Though most of the family is overjoyed at the prospect of hearing about their rooting habits, Dion’s sister Jamie, really wishes she didn’t have to know.
“I don’t want to think about my brother doing that.”
“It’s fucking rank, keep that shit to yourself.”
More to come.
