EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A French Quarter couple have today learned the hard way that a parent’s quench for ‘what’s next’ is insatiable, having been bombarded with questions about reaching certain adult goalposts for the entire seven years they’d been together.
From being asked when Raph [32] was going to pop the question to Kelly [33], to ‘when’s he popping the question, ‘are you getting married’ and are you having unprotected sex and busting a nut’ (well, actually, are you trying for a kid, but it’s essentially the same thing), and the couple are fucking sick of it.
Now, after finally ticking off all these items, Raph and Kelly stupidly thought they were done with people sticking their nose in their business, but now, they’re just being asked when they plan on giving little Henry a sibling.
“I don’t get this bizarre obsession from older family members about popping kids out like a PEZ dispenser”, says a furious Kelly.
“Really, in this economic climate?”
‘We’re both in tech, so we make reasonable money. But cost of living is fucked, our mortgage rates keep going up, and when I go back to work, we’ll be paying another few hundred a week in childcare.”
“And you know what these fuckers say?”
“Oh, you’ll figure it out.”
“Why is scrimping and scraping and not being able to afford a nice lifestyle seen as less preferable to having multiple children?”
“There’s such a big focus on ‘sacrificing’, but I swear all these people pushing for us to struggle just want to feel better about their own life choices.”
“Just fuck off already.”
More to come.
