EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A Betoota Ponds man has today come to the conclusion that not only are his days as a carefree bachelor officially behind him now, but that he urgently needs to download some dating apps.
Looking slightly embarrassed, Michael Travis [32] told our reporter that he’d discovered a piece of ‘torn wrapper’ next to his bedside table during a room clean, which he’d assumed was a condom wrapper that had been haphazardly discarded in the throes of pleasure.
Only, he couldn’t for the life of him remember the last time he had someone over.
“Yeah thought it was a franga wrapper”, Michael chuckles, with a tinge of sadness, “but don’t know when that could have happened.”
“I’d gone on a date a few weeks ago but that didn’t really go anywhere.”
“And before that, I hooked up with my mate’s sister after a trivia night.”
“Don’t tell him that.”
“But we went to her house so it couldn’t be from that…”
Sheepishly running a hand through his hair, Michael says he’d picked up the mystery rubbish to inspect it further, only to realise it was not, in fact, evidence of his sexual process, but actually one of the individual wrappers his fancy sleepy time teabags came in.
“Yeah…”
“I think that’s a sign it’s time for me to get back out there.”
More to come.
