ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
“What do I do? Do I go over there and confront the guy?”
“Fuck! He’s seen me!”
Oscar Feeney-Ross hates Ezra Haddad with a burning passion – but they’ve never laid eyes on each other until now.
Using pseudonyms on the social media platform, Twitter, the pair have been trading blows for years. Often the insults get quite personal.
They’ve both dreamt about this day come. What would they do? How were they going to knock them out? Many questions were left unanswered.
However, today at the Elephant & Pogostick Hotel in Betoota Heights, the opportunity to take their relationship to the next level presented itself.
In the middle of the intense standoff was our reporter, who was innocently trying to enjoy a $9 rump special and a full-strength schooner of Fanta.
Ezra came over to speak to The Advocate on the way out to the smoking area.
“I’m going to bounce his little blond head off the floorboards like Cherbourg speed bag,” he said unconvincingly.
“But doing it in such a public space might get me arrested or worse – beaten up. Anyway, come talk to me later about it. We’re both here alone so it’d be fair, I guess.”
Just as young Ezra shot a death stare on the way out the back, Oscar stood up and made his way to the bar now that the coast was clear.
On his way back to his lonesome corner booth, he asked The Advocate ‘just what in the hell our reporter thought he was doing’.
“Why are you talking to that leftist wanker for?” he said sharply.
“The fucking Leftoota Advocate hey? I might just start buying the Betoota Bugle from now on. At least you get real news without bias,”
“You’re lucky you’re here with your mate, otherwise I’d have to fuck you both up.”
Oscar then laughed nervously to himself and went on his way.
This is a developing story, more to come.
