LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Cynthia Flugle (24) of Betoota Heights has a particular type of bloke that she’s into and it’s not the type of bloke who solves problems without violence.
Having previously been unlucky in love, Flugle reckons she has cracked the code when it comes to avoiding future heartbreaks at the hand of common men who only wield a weapon when there is a console controller involved.
After too many civilians have broken her heart, Flugle has spent her time down the local military barracks, flirting with men who would die for their country which by extension includes her too.
“I love military guys, they are so much more well adjusted than blokes who have never been shot at,” stated Flugle, practising her makeup for a potentially iconic ‘welcome home kiss’ photo.
“Like this one bloke, told me it wasn’t me, it was him. More specifically how he was about to be shitting in a bucket for six months in Afghanistan.”
“That’s much easier to process. I did nothing wrong, it’s those pricks in ISIL I should be mad at.”
“[Military men] are romantic guys too! They love a picnic because they’re so used to eating outdoors.”
“Plus, after eating nothing but preservative pumped pouches of food logs for months, they really like my cooking.”
