LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Local movie viewer Amy Franklin (28) faced a difficult decision today.
A blessed resident of the jewel of the Diamantina, Betoota dwelling Franklin was deciding whether to see the latest superhero movie currently playing at the pictures or watch a detailed deconstruction of the film on YouTube that clocks in at two hours longer than the film itself.
“Jesus Christ, they sure do have a lot to say in regards to a movie that’s mostly about punching,” stated Franklin.
“I could watch the movie up to the end credits scene and still have time to get a matcha, get my nails done, have a lawyer look over my will, pay for parking and drive home in the time it takes to watch this review.”
“Shit he must really hate it.”
Franklin then proceeded to look at the YouTube page of the reviewer, BorgXD, who claims to be a learned film student and director with half a year’s worth of uploaded videos where they slag off mainstream superhero films.
Ignoring the tempting offer to spend four and a half hours listening to a bloke talk about why he didn’t like a movie, Franklin saw the film anyway and had this to say about it:
“Look, if you’ve seen a superhero movie before then you’ve seen this one. It’s that simple. The hero isn’t going to die, one of their mates becomes a baddie, a bureaucrat gets strangled. It’s not exactly cooking with concrete and anyone who has anything more to say about it than that is a deadset loser.”
At the time of writing, Franklin claims to be halfway through BorgXD’s comprehensive review of the film and states it’s actually pretty funny after you get through the first hour.
