KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A University professor is on a profitable media offensive this week, as he clutches to fill his coffers before his expertise becomes redundant.
A lecturer at the Diamantina’s most exclusive tertiary sandstone institution, Royal Betoota University, local Associate Professor Edmund Cromwell is believed to be incredibly busy, as he looks to book in as many media appearances as humanly possible to cash in on the Queen’s death.
Appearing this hour on Betoota’s very own breakfast TV show, Morning Glory, Edmund has been sure to get his pudgy drinker’s nose on as many TV screens as possible before his phone stops ringing.
An expert in the history of the Royal family, with a particular interest in the inbred lineage of the Windsor family and the Queen’s many tours down under, Edmund has admitted this is his final week to make some coin from his studies.
“Mate I’m busier than a one armed Irish bartender this week,” Edmund told The Advocate.
“I’ve got the morning show today, then an interview on ABC radio this afternoon, and then The Project have been in touch and they want to beam me into their broadcast tonight.”
“I’m flat out!”
A prominent tweed jacket wearer, who’s shuffling feet have stalked the halls of Beoota’s College of Humanities, Arts and Social Sciences for the best past of two decades, Edmund’s told our reporter that this is his last chance to make a buck from his many years studying in the library.
“Once the Queen is buried, they’ll be barely any work for me, God knows Charles will only bring about the kind of headlines that get a splash on New Idea magazine.”
“I might be able to cash in on one last round of media engagements when Charles gets coronated, but after that and Australia becomes a Republic my life’s work will be worthless.”
“Anyway I’ve gotta run Triple J are calling, they want a few one-liners to pad out their Hack program this afternoon.”
More to come.
