LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
An Aussie film producer has decided it’s time for a well-earned drink after tossing a coin to see if he’ll produce a film about outback racism or suburban heroin.
The son of a wealthy and completely legitimate owner of a chain of bikie pubs, Drew Riverteive (42) got into the film producing industry so he could contribute to Australian culture while doing as much cocaine as he wants.
However, producing Australian films isn’t always sunshine, rainbows and Deborah Mailman, occasionally Riverteive is forced to make really difficult decisions.
With a pile of scripts on his desk taller than the electric lemonade he takes with lunch every day, Riverteive has his intern Nick (60) narrow the scripts down to the ones about outback racism and suburban heroin with the remainder to serve as fuel for the next charity bonfire.
“I always save the Ned Kelly ones just in case,” stated Nick the intern, who reckons he’ll be offered a paid job next month, surely.
“I keep them under my mattress. That’s how I hit my head on the ceiling yesterday.”
Although Australian cinema achieved perfection in 1990 when The Big Steal was released, producers like Riverteive are still giving it a go, provided the film is about how racism is often in the outback and heroin is often in the suburbs.
“This is going to be a tough decision,” stated Riverteive, dusting off a 20 cent piece and getting ready to let fate decide what movie cultured Aussie mums would be suffering through in two years.
“Either way, I’m giving Tim Minchin a call.”
MORE TO COME.
