KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
An awarded Sushi train chef is turning up the heat this afternoon, preparing fresh plates of food to feed a new group of clientele.
At approximately 1:32pm today, it’s reported 78-year-old sushi master Jiro Ono was forced to put his artful craft on a fresh salmon aside, in favour of dumping 2 kilos of breaded chicken into the deep fryer.
After spotting three white males enter his Sushi train establishment, ‘Off The Rails’, during the lunch rush in downtown Betoota, its underwood Jiro has made some amendments to his plating schedule.
“When you spot three finance bros who are probably called Tom, Dick and Harry enter your restaurant, it’s pretty obvious what they’re here for,” the Michelin star sushi master told The Advocate.
“They’re about to pull four plates of chicken and cucumber rolls off the train, two plates of cold spring rolls and one of those picky bastards is about to order a pork ramen, even though we’re a sushi joint…”
Yelling across the kitchen to his young apprentice and son, Yoshikazu Ono, it’s believed Jiro has even instructed his colleagues to fill up the fridge with Diet Cokes.
“Yoshikazu! Put another row of Fanta and sugar-free Coke in the fridge, these boys look thirsty!” he commanded in Japanese.
“And while you’re out the back, fetch me another litre of Japanese mayo, they’ll probably dunk their chicken rolls in the stuff like a potato wedge in sour cream…”
Asked whether he enjoyed manoeuvring his menu to suit a beige audience, Jiro admitted to The Advocate that white collar lunches were profitable for his bottom line.
“When these fellas come in, I can charge $7.50 for a plate of two Aldi Gyoza dumplings I pull from the freezer, you think I ain’t happy to take their money!”
More to come.
