DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT
Divorce is a complex event where the rights of men and women depend mostly on the circumstances in question. Circumstances that can be very expensive if you’re not careful.
Litigation, arbitration, dispute resolution and more. These things can add up to tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars. Then there’s the immeasurable emotional costs involved.
And it’s in this advice column where I can teach you, whether you be a man, woman or one of the brave other ones, to keep your divorce expenses on the lower end of that costs scale.
No matter the circumstances or how messy your litigation proceedings become, you can achieve a cheap divorce through these easy to follow utter bastard behaviours. Behaviours that I’ve come to call Divorce’s 3-Ds*: Deny, Defer, Delay.
Let me explain.
DENY – As an utter bastard, you were no doubt the reason your marriage failed. I know I was to blame with my first two divorces. But even though you’re guilty, don’t let your Ex blame all the faults on you because it will cost you. Deny everything your Ex says. Always. Doing that proficiently allows you to move to the second D which is:
DEFER – Defer blame to your Ex. Even though everyone knows you’re in the wrong, continue to deny and then defer blame to them. Shift the narrative like the utter bastard everyone knows you are and watch as their lawyers start to panic now they realise you’re playing dirty.
DELAY – The final step in your easy divorce is to drag that fucker out. No resolution for your Ex. Period. They think they can reason with an utter bastard like you? Ha! Think again. The hope you’ve given them over the last few months of deferring blame and arriving at ‘agreements’ is thrown out with an utter bastard performance of last minute, back to back delays of proceedings.
Say you’re ill or work stuff has come up. Or do what you did during your marriage and don’t bother with an explanation, just don’t show up at all. Make up piss weak lies to drive home the message that this divorce hell will never end until your Ex takes on all the costs associated with it.
For utter bastards like you and me, reducing your divorce expenses is as easy as DDD.
*Patent Pending
