DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT
Beer drinkers may not know this but for the last 40 years tax on beer has followed the automatic indexation that occurs in line with inflation. So whenever the cost of living increases – which you may have noticed it has been lately – so too does the beer tax.
This has led to a situation where the cost of a beer has become what financial taxation beer drinking experts refer to as ‘proper fucked cunt’.
I agree that the situation has gone too far. And I want you all to join me in the revolution of being proper pissed-off at the price of piss.
So next time the barman tells you your pint of ale costs $18, don’t pay it. Instead, learn to walk away with these helpful tips.
GET SUPPORT: You don’t have to go through this alone. Get your mate’s attention and gauge his reaction to the price of the pint. If he thinks it’s crazy too, ask him to walk away with you. Go to the next pub together and see if there is a happy hour on.
HONOUR YOUR OWN SELF WORTH: What kind of relationship do you want with alcohol? Or more to the point, what kind of relationship with alcohol do you think you deserve? If you’re willing to pay $18 for a pint of pale ale that you’re not even that keen on in the first place, maybe you hate yourself.
Don’t. You’re better than that. You’re worth it. Push the pint back towards the barman with your head held high and proudly say, ‘I am enough’.
DRINK NORMAL BEER: I know it’s exciting to see a row of taps with 69 different types of craft ales, but don’t be suckered in by glossy marketing and on-trend socio-cultural norms like drinking piss that tastes like sour strawberries.
Just order a pint of draught. It won’t be fashionable or on-trend, but it’ll be cheaper and taste better. Look to the old decrepit barfly seated next to you, there’s wisdom in those yellow eyes. Ask the barman to pour you the same amber coloured slosh old mate’s having. It’ll be half the price and you’ll finally feel like the man your father always wished you’d turn out to be but never did.
Remember, we accept the price of alcohol we think we deserve. Through loving yourself you can drink cheaper beers. Know it is ok to walk away when the barman tries to charge you a rock lobster for a pint.
