ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Dennis Galhooley would be the first to admit that he’s put on a few kilos in recent years, but his doctor would say it’s closer to 20.
A visit to his local GP at the Betoota Heights Family Medical Center today confirmed that, as Dr. Michelle Jones ordered, big Dennis up on the scales, and what she saw chilled her blood.
“She asked me how many kids I had; I’ve got two,” he said.
“Dr. Michelle told me I’d probably have a stroke or a heart attack before they finished school if I didn’t start to look after myself. She said I was on the wrong side of the obesity bell curve, making my way to morbidly. Instead of prescribing me something like Ozempic or a gastric sleeve, Dr. Michelle told me to wake up to myself and start putting in less than what I put out.”
Dennis gave Dr. Michelle permission to discuss his visit and recent health with The Advocate in the hopes that it will spread the message that some doctors are bullies and unhelpful.
“You don’t see people as big as Dennis make it to old bones, do you?” she said.
“Because if you are overweight, have a poor diet, do things like smoke cigarettes and do drugs like cocaine and methamphetamine, you will age in dog years. It’s not opinion; it’s science. You don’t need to jam yourself up with drugs each time you feel sad about the world and how much of a [explicit] your life has become because politicians and upper-middle-class [explicit] spit on you and mock your very existence, you need a pair of running shoes and a hard look in the mirror,”
“And a pot of DOT4 brake fluid to throw on their car as you run past it at night. Me, I carry a washing up glove so I can smear dog poo under people’s door handles if they park over the footpath in front of their house. We all have our ways. Getting away with criminal damage to some bloke’s car, some Amarok-owning pin [explicit] car with his lame plumbing business plastered on the side, is better than Prozac, I tell you what,”
“It’s a thrill and you stay fit doing it. People like Dennis just need a kick up the arse, and sometimes people like that need to hear it. There are other doctors who say you can be healthy at any size, but they have a much higher patient turnover than I do, if you know what I mean.”
More to come.
