World News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The billionaire apartheid prodigy Elon Musk has this week once again reminded the world that trust fund baby entrepreneurs are best seen and not heard. This comes as the 51-year-old South African works tirelessly to undo his rather cool legacy of building driverless cars and sending rockets to Mars, and instead focuses on broadcasting his midlife crisis to the...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation of Australia has confirmed today that it is refusing to join the United Kingdom on its spiral into a deep radical leftist state.  This comes after Australia rejected an energy plan put forward by a mega-billionaire conservative politician who is the Prime Minister of the UK. The UK system, which was designed by Rishi Sunak (the PM who...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A damning scientific report has been released today, and it makes for bad reading for two of the world's most notable fan bases. The new piece of research has confirmed that the English national football team is essentially the global equivalent of the Parramatta Eels. Authored by the International Body For Sports Psychology, the report is titled "Is...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The juicy, explosive and institution-shattering tell-all Netflix docuseries about the royal family - Harry & Meghan - has left viewers with dropped-jaws overnight. The first three episodes — focused on the romance, engagement and marriage of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. It also covers the difficult life that the Duchess of Sussex has been thrown into as an American actress...

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact It has come to light that Qatar, the conservative Middle Eastern host country of the 2022 FIFA World Cup, is a complete piece of shit, culturally speaking. At least that is what many of the most important homo-sapiens from the most important western countries have explained via social media and mainstream news over recent weeks. Germany, UK, Australia, USA and...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In case you aren't aware, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry haven't yet disappeared into the anonymity of Los Angeles, like they promised to do last time they did a three hour interview. It seems distancing themselves from the British Royal machine may be a bit difficult after signing an exclusive contract with major global streaming platform Netflix - which...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Indonesian government has today introduced another controversial new policy, banning a swathe of airlines from the popular tourist island of Bali. The conservative government in charge of the world's third largest democracy has revealed that only Virgin Airways will be allowed to fly in and out of Denpasar airport. This decision comes shortly after Indonesia's parliament passed...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Australian's aviation industry has been hit by a fresh new crisis today, with revelations that a popular flight destination is now essentially off the cards. With years of staff culls resulting in serious logistical and operational issues, the price-gouging likes of Jetsar, Qantas and Virgin have now been rocked by revelations that Bali is under threat as a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The busiest man in Hollywood is currently running at full capacity, it can be confirmed today. Jon Bernthal, who made his name internationally as 'Shane' from Walking Dead - before appearing in about 6 or 7 new TV shows and movies for the ten years that followed, is still in hot demand. Streaming services say that they simply cannot keep...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The United States of America is celebrating a historic day today, after finally being able to successfully beat a Middle Eastern nation. After decades and decades and trillions and trillions of dollars of trying, the home of the brave and the land of the free* has finally managed to achieve what can be described as a 'victory.' The historic...