World News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Hacksaw Ridge star and former Northern Beaches rugby league prodigy, Luke Bracey has arrived at the 88th annual Academy Awards red carpet still clutching a 440ml can of Woodstock bourbon and cola, that he somehow managed to sneak into the maxi taxi after pre drinks. The 27-year-old actor described the media storm surrounding his first ever Oscars appearance...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Hollywood star Ben Affleck has today revealed that he's very excited to be working on a cool new movie that stars him as the main star who is able to evade authorities and bad guys while also picking up chicks who are very hot. The film, which is based off a script he wrote himself about a troubled...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Former-Senator-turned-political-advisor Malcolm Roberts revealed to the media this morning that he's spending his parliamentary downtime searching for a bunyip that he believes lives in Canberra's Lake Burley-Griffin. Speaking to The Advocate this morning, the firebrand Queenslander said he was 'quietly confident' in finding the mythical creature before the holidays are over in a week or...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The half-brother of North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has been assassinated at an airport in Kuala Lumpur, telling medical workers before he died that he forgot to put a coaster over his schooner before going to the bathroom, a Malaysian official has said. Kim Jong-nam, 46, was targeted on Monday in the travel bar at Kuala Lumpur International Airport...

PUTNEY SWOPE| Personal Lives Of Notable People | CONTACT In these trying times fraught with political turmoil and imminent conflict of an already divided people, a new hope stands on the horizon. With Beyonce and Jay Z announcing the arrival of twins, it has been prophesized that they shall bring balance to the Force. Sources suggest they will be hidden, the girl...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Initially thought to be choosing a conservative judge, willing to shape the court for years to come on issues like abortion and gun and religious rights, President Donald Trump has today shocked congress by unveiling his pick for a lifetime job on the U.S. Supreme Court. His 11-year-old son, Barron Trump. The powerless Democrats, who have endured eight years...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A brief but important break in conversation has ruined a good train of thought at the Lord Betoota Hotel today, as the boys make a return to the pub after months of iso. It is believed that Vinnie (35, Labourer) was on a good roll talking about this time his mate got punched by a bouncer in Longreach,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT President Donald Trump has today begun his roll-out of the new Muslim Registry, aimed at identifying every Muslim person in the country. Speaking to a select few journalists from a select few media outlets that he feels report on him correctly, Trump has said Muslims in America have nothing to worry about. So long as there wear the state-issued...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Donald Trump today banned the US government from giving funding to health groups that offer counselling surrounding health issues that involve women's private parts, such as their pussies. The President signed an order reinstating the “global gag rule”, which denies US foreign aid to groups who "perform or actively promote grabbing women by the pussies and...

JUAN CIUDADANO | Trump Editor | CONTACT In a defining move, the US president-elect Donald Trump has decreed he will conduct all official meetings with foreign leaders and advisors using no more than 140 characters per speaker. Buoyed by the impact of his @realDonaldTrump twitter account, the real estate mogul announced the move via social media Tuesday. "@realDonaldTrump such a success, my popularity thru...