World News

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The American township of Santa Fe has today been reminded of just how lucky they are to live in the greatest country in the world. During first period class at Santa Fe High School, there were reports of an active shooting. Students and faculty evacuated the building when a fire alarm was activated. According to CBS News, there are...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The father of the soon-to-be newest member of the Royal family, Meghan Markle, has made headlines this week for his embarrassing staged paparazzi photos and pulling out of the royal wedding at the last minute after heart surgery. After a bumpy week for the LA family, that included the old man posing fake pictures, he was also snapped buying...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Just as US President Donald Trump was counting his chickens, a robotic voice meme video has come along and smashed all his eggs. The Betoota Advocate can exclusively reveal today that the reason for the breakdown between the two maverick leaders was a falling out over what the viral Yanny v Laurel video says. Like many...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local dad, Mark Plymouth (55) has today cracked open a bottle of mass produced lager and thrown his feet up. After a big afternoon dealing with work politics and communications with new management, Mark has only one thing on his mind. Putting on a bit of Chisel. While he doesn't have a vinyl player, the act of scrolling through his...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local far-right Aussie patriot Bryce Catterall has taken a break from his conspiracies regarding Zionist world domination to express his concern for the lives of non-Arabs living near the Gaza strip. Catterall, who has posted upwards of sixteen anti-Israeli rants to Youtube, says the live rounds and gas canisters being lobbed into crowds of Palestinian families are more than...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact They've both been warned not to refer to the Royal Family as 'human rubble' and Jim Ross especially has been asked not to refer to Her Majesty The Queen as 'the reigning champ'. That's just two small details in a long list of protocols the two former wrestling commentators need to follow this weekend as...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT During a lengthy interview with ABC 7:30, Hillary Clinton has made it clear to interviewer Leigh Sales that she rarely takes the floor to talk about her career without copping 100 bands at least. "This doesn't happen much" she says. "I hope you know that you are pretty lucky. I understand you aren't a commercial network and somehow have...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A new study has found that the only form of artistic expression that white people are able to part take in is yodeling, after countless attempts at appropriating visual and performance art forms belonging to people of colour. The recent recent report by the Greens-backed research group TWOPOC (Tertiary-Educated White Opinions On Behalf Of People Of Colour) - the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With his big day just around the corner, the increased paparazzi attention to Prince Harry has revealed that he's actually not 100% safe of joining his brother William as a fellow chrome dome. It is believed that his soon-to-be-wife Meghan Markle may not be aware of this ailment, as Prince Harry is a little bit taller than her, like...

 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Malcolm Turnbull has assured reporters his wife Lucy found the French President's description of her as "delicious" both flattering and charming. "I want to thank you for your welcome — thank you, and your delicious wife." said Emmanuel Macron's use of the word raised some eyebrows yesterday, when he ended a meeting with Mr Turnbull in Sydney with the following...