China Threatens To Boycott Kangaroo Scrotum Coin Purses
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact
As tensions between Australia and China escalate, Beijing has released a statement threatening to ban Australia’s 4th most valuable export.
The iconic kangaroo scrotum coin purse, which ranks just behind coal, iron ore, and other tourist trinkets which are technically made in China as a critical cornerstone of the export economy and a key indicator of economic stability ever since they were...
Obama’s Soothing, Sound And Measured Address Added To Spotify’s ‘Sleep Sounds’ Playlist
TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact
After watching his beloved country erupt in protest over yet another completely avoidable murder of an African American man, former US President Barack Obama stepped in and delivered an address to the people that really should have come from the sitting President.
In the 15-minute speech, Obama offered the world a sound, measured, and empowering response to the...
Trump Claims Victory Over His Own Citizens In Latest Round Of ‘Stop Hitting Yourself’
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
WINNING: America's current need for a win is outmatched only by their need for new leadership.
Luckily, President Donald Trump has taken to the Rose Garden to announce his latest win and how that will help the people who voted for him who still don’t have jobs.
“I beat you, I beat you, I beat you,” stated Mr Trump as...
Americans So Mad They Might Even Consider Thinking About Possibly Voting
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact
As the US completes the transition from a dangerous place full of guns into a dangerous place full of guns and riots, some protestors have signaled that they are so dissatisfied with how their country is being run that they might even vote if they get around to it.
Unlike Australia, where voting is compulsory for everyone over...
New Revelations Allege That Prince Andrew’s Was Directly Involv.. Meghan Markle Is A Brat!
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
New allegations reveal that The Duke of York has "sought to falsely portray himself" as willing to talk to investigators over his ties to alleged child sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, the US prosecutor in charge of the investigation has said.
US attorney Geoffrey Berman said Prince Andrew "has repeatedly declined" request to schedule an interview.
The duke will not be...
Planet Earth Starting To Notice A Pattern Of Rich White Boys Going Missing During A Crisis
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro has rapidly changed his tune on the Coronavirus outbreak over the last few weeks, after initially dismissing the pandemic as 'just a little flu'.
Since his initial attempts at denying the seriousness of the situation, Brazil has recorded over 650,000 cases of COVID-19 and 34,000 deaths related to the illness, the third-highest number in the world,...
Trump Tells Supporters He’s Gonna Need Another 4 Years To Really Make America Great Again
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
USA President and former host of the Celebrity Apprentice, Donald Trump (73), famously won the 2016 presidential election running on the promise to ‘Make America Great Again.’
Due to the USA having a history of massacres, slavery and something called the McBiscuit, Trump failed to win over minority voters by promising to restore things to how they once were.
Yet,...
Link Established Between Peaked Beanies And Thinking Black Lives Matters Is An Attack On You
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A recent report by the prominent Australian research think tank P.C.R.C.O.F has today found undeniable correlations between wearing surf brand beanies with brims and getting offended by the mobilisation of black people around the world.
Founded in early 2013, P.C.R.C.O.F (Poor Cunts Reading Comments On Facebook) is now one of the most prominent public policy advisors in Australian...
Woman’s Latest Wave Of Anxiety Either From 2nd Coffee Or Collapse Of Western Civilisation
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact
Betoota Heights resident Naomi Wells (24) is feeling a bit on edge today as she deals with an overwhelming sense that the meaningless suffering in the world she lives in is matched only by her own futility to influence positive change before she is inevitably dead and forgotten.
Seeking refuge in a prized indoor seat...
“Stealing From Your Own Communities Is Not The Solution,” Says Politician
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact
In USA cities such as Minneapolis and New York, some peaceful protests as part of the Black Lives Matter movement have turned to riots and looting in response to the rubber bullet fuelled American-style of crowd control.
These images have not only prompted many to show their support for the movement but have encouraged brave...