Sports

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Our national football team has today had a huge win, with confirmation that some heavy artillery could be at their disposal in the near future. Fresh off beating the UAE to progress to the next stage of World Cup Qualifying, it's been revealed that Socceroos legend John Aloisi could be coming out of retirement. The man responsible for the...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Cronulla Sharks halfback Nicho Hynes's representative rugby league career could be over before it even starts, after a video was leaked that shows him allegedly blowing up a general hospital with a remote detonator while disguised as a nurse. This comes just hours after the 25-year-old was presented a NSW jersey, in an official pre-match ceremony for debutant State...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Interesting images have emerged out of NSW Origin Camp today, with coach Brad Fittler revealing a shock change ahead of Wednesday night's series opener. With much made of NSW's team selection and whether the starting 13 would remain the same come kick-off, it's Fittler's wardrobe choices that have today set tongues wagging. Known previously for his Sydney Roosters-inspired...

KEITH T. DENNETT | Fluff Editor | CONTACT A Rugby League intellectual is polishing his TV glasses this evening, preparing to gorge himself on an hour of academically unsubstantiated dribble. Parked up on his four seater lounge, with a half empty bag of corn chips resting between his thighs, Blake Vaughan reportedly turned to his misso Chelsea this evening to lament his dislike of “gossip...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT To make the bye round even worse, NRL commentator Ray ‘Rabs’ Warren has officially retired from NRL commentary. Widely acknowledged as the greatest voice in the greatest game, Rabs announced his Bradman-esque retirement yesterday, falling just one match short of calling 100 State of Origins. However it’s not only footy fans who will mourn Rabs retirement, but the wider Polynesian...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Treasurer Jim Chalmers has become the first Member of Parliament to be sworn in on a magazine as the First Albanese Government gets the go-ahead from Governor-General David Hurley in Canberra today. Clutching his copy of the commemorative 1998 Grand Final editon of the once-popular bi-fortnightly newsletter, Rugby League Week, the Queenslander said today was...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After an ordinary start to the year with the pandemic, floods, and election campaigns - both NSW and Queensland residents can take solace in the fact that the State Of Origin is just around the corner. That was, until they all realised how young the average State of Origin debutants are. The news that rising NRL star Selwyn 'The Cherbourg...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A young millennial living in Brisbane's inner city is facing heavy criticism this week, after trying to negotiate his terms of employment with his boss. The 22-year-old rugby league player is under fire for trying to force his boss to give him a pay rise, above what was previously negotiated. However, given his recent performances, coupled with a...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Queensland's Department of health is panicking today after revelations have emerged that the state is about to be hit by a health crisis. Just hours after picking his first Queensland Maroons State of Origin side, coach Billy Slater has informed the media that there is a massive injury cloud hovering over the entire squad. The tried and tested...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In case you haven't been watching the news this weekend because it does nothing but scare you and make you angry about things that actually don't affect your life, it is worth noting that the Australian government has changed hands. Shortly before 11pm last night, Mr Morrison appeared before his supporters to confirm he had rung Labor leader Anthony...