Pommy Bricklayer In A Shitty Mood Because He’s From A Stupid Country Thats Sucks At Soccer Bahaha
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After ten years in Australia, English construction worker Billy Blackpool (33) says he is still surprised by the cultural clashes he finds himself encountering on the jobsite.
Namely, the fact that his workmates refuse to acknowledge that there is a difference between Scotland and England.
Or the endless shit he cops for eating boiled eggs with his bare hands at...
Nation’s Lawns In Crisis As Summer Of Cricket Kicks Off
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
The Australian Lawn Council has issued a red alert this morning, as the nation comes to grips with a long grass crisis.
After an unusually wet November and December which saw flooding in regions across the country, it’s understood that the government body responsible for lawn monitoring has yanked the starter cord on its emergency signal system...
South Australia Declares Day Of Mourning After Germany Gets Knocked Out Of World Cup
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The state of South Australia has today declared a statewide day of mourning, after Germany was unceremoniously bundled out of the World Cup.
The 2014 Champions embarrassingly failed to make it out of their group after losing to Japan and drawing with Spain - something which the entire region of Europe and many parts of the world found...
Princess Mary Maintains Her Danish Royal Status By Cheering Like A Feral Tasmanian On The Inside
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In case you haven't been watching the news over the last 24 hours, the next golden generation of Australian soccer superstars are currently taking the world by storm.
Early yesterday morning, the Socceroos progressed to the 2022 FIFA World Cup Round of 16 for only the second time in history, after Mathew Leckie's second-half game winning goal sent Denmark...
Les Murray Beams Down With Pride From The SBS World Cup Couch In The Sky
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
It's been a big day upstairs for the Godfather of Australian football.
Les Murray, (born László Ürge) reportedly woke up after the stroke of midnight, to watch the Socceroos take on Denmark from heaven.
The incredible result which saw the Socceroos make it out of the group stage for the second time ever, has been hailed as a...
Hometown Jocks Who Used To Ridicule ‘Wogball’ In School Now Banned From Cheering For The Socceroos
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The Australian footballing renaissance is currently underway, as the national side continues to exceed global expectations at the 2022 FIFA World Cup.
The Socceroos have qualified for the Round of 16 after defeating Denmark 1-0 at Qatar's Al Janoub Stadium, putting on a performance great enough for Australian media to begin using the word 'football' in their reporting, instead...
Armchair Expert To Dip Into His U/10s Soccer Career To Scream Strategic Advice At Socceroos
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
Like many Aussie blokes whose belt size sits in the 40s, Harry “Hogga” Armstrong has never had an athletic build suited for European football.
A 5 ft 10 unit who is wide as he is tall, Harry is one of the many dense individuals who learnt from an early age that soccer wasn’t quite right for him...
America Somehow Defeats A Middle Eastern Country Without Destabilising Their Democratic Process Through Illegal Military Operations
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The United States of America is celebrating a historic day today, after finally being able to successfully beat a Middle Eastern nation.
After decades and decades and trillions and trillions of dollars of trying, the home of the brave and the land of the free* has finally managed to achieve what can be described as a 'victory.'
The historic...
Report: Looks Like Both Of Them Are Coming Home
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In some breaking news from overseas, it can be confirmed today that football is in fact coming home.
Home of course being Australia, the large landmass above Tasmania down the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.
This comes after Australia, the tiny nation of 25 million people managed to beat Tunisia in the Football World Cup and Wales in a...
“We Need A Better Team That Plays Differently” Say Foz And Boz As They Tee-Off On Socceroos
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact
The most handsome members of the SBS World Cup Commentary Team, Craig Foster and Mark Bosnich, have provided emotionally charged expert analysis of the Socceroos woeful performance against Les Bleus.
“I know it’s hard and France are a great team,” Foz admitted on live television with open palms, “but Australia needs a better team that plays differently if we...
