Sports

8 February, 2016. 15:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact FOR SOME IT'S THE biggest sporting event of the year. For others, it's the embodiment everything the terrorists hate about Western culture. But for sports fans around Australia, the Super Bowl is unique. Some have even taken the day off work to watch the spectacle, further compounding the negative effect America is having on our economy....

4 February, 2016. 11:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact SUPERSTAR COACH AND LIVING AUSTRALIAN TREASURE Darren Lehmann has taken delivery of six guide dogs today, which he plans to give to his useless batsmen. The nation's cricketing team was lashed like a naughty schoolboy's bum in the 50's last night, so the dogs couldn't come fast enough. Hitting out at his underperforming...

3 February, 2016 11:45 IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | CONTACT Usman Khawaja is still not on the radar of prominent Australian ODI selectors, despite being fully dressed in cricket attire and practicing shots with the team physio outside of Eden Park this afternoon. "We haven't seen much from him yet," said chairman of selectors Rod Marsh. "He'll show his promise when he develops a little bit," Usman Khawaja...

  IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | CONTACT The South Betoota Australian Rules social grade footballers were not met with a press conference this morning, despite the fact they have spent the last 48 hours making Mitchell Pearce look like a "fuckin' schoolboy". We spoke to the most lively member of the team's three-day bender, co-captain Jack Cort, who says he didn't think Friday's pre-season trial match would have...

31 January, 2016. 14:35 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IN DECEMBER 2005, Craig Gower was fired as Panthers captain. What started out as just other Sunday, ended with him visiting his local Tarocash - to find a suit to wear to the NRL disciplinary hearing that was going to happen on Monday. There were a series of incidents at a charity golf event, which ended up...

28 January, 2016 13:05 IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | CONTACT It is believed that former Canberra Raiders centre, Joel Monaghan has laughed off suggestions that the currently disgraced NSW and Sydney Roosters halfback, Mitchell Pearce has "joined the club". Close friends have spoken up this morning and informed the Betoota Advocate that Joel Monaghan was actually quite disappointed when he viewed the footage of the disgraced...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact MARK PHILIPPOUSSIS is a great Australian. He won two Davis Cups, reached the finals of Wimbledon and the US Open - and like the rest of the country, he was smacked as a child. Though he wasn't always popular and humble like he is now, Lleyton Hewitt was smacked. Bill Shorten was smacked. A new report released by...

12 January, 2016 10:45 IMRAN GASHKORI | Sports Editor | CONTACT It's been three years since the first revelations of a massive cross-code performance enhancing drug syndicate in Australian sport. Today the Court Of Arbitration For Sport handed down its judgement to those found guilty in the AFL. 34 Essendon players have been found guilty, of them, 12 remain at the club and will have to endure an entire season...

6 January, 2016 17:30 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Sources close to Australia's favourite sportsman of all time have confirmed that the King Of Spin has only just been made aware that there is an extremely hot chick who often features as a journalist during live coverage of Big Bash cricket matches. It is believed Shane Warne was alerted to the existence of channel...

6 December, 2016 12:50 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In an explosive news week that has seen many high-profile Australian identities berated for sleazy interactions with the opposite sex, the famous, and noticeably black, BBL cricketing sensation Chris Gayle is definitely the most controversial. Even more controversial than the two federal ministers who have admitted to misogynistic behaviour this week, Chris Gayle's misogyny is controversial...