Man With Lipstick Kiss Tattoo Surprisingly Not Getting Much
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact
In a recent drunken rant, Betoota local Richard Kelly (34) revealed that he hasn’t gotten laid in quite some time,...
Backwards Hat A Firm Indication Local Man Reckons He Must Be Pretty Good At Touch Footy
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
It has been confirmed today that Phil Thomas reckons he is pretty fucking good at touch footy.
“Yeah I go alright...
Man With Flat Phone Lies And Says He’ll Transfer Money For The Uber
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
As the night was coming to a close at the Dolphins Leagues Club in South Betoota, two toey humans...
Female Law Grad Applies For Capsicum Spray Permit Ahead Of Work Christmas Party
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet Reporter | Contact
Sarah Harris likes to let her hair down. She likes to enjoy a drink. She likes to have a good time. She...
Terribly-Wrapped Present Obviously From Fuck-Up Of A Brother
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
When John Wilmott was 14, his older brother Mark was sent home from school for the last time.
He was...
Student Household Unveils Pathetic Christmas Tree
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Though money is tight and festive cheer is at an all-time low, a troupe of local students have attempted...
Red P-Plates On VW Golf A Fairly Good Indication Dad’s Making Bank
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
A link between the Volkswagen Golf and young women from affluent households has been discovered in a recent report published by theHousehold...
Resident Cockroach Appalled By The Living Conditions In Local Share House
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
"These people are animals," he said.
"I can't it any longer, I'm moving out."
Peter the Cockroach only moved into the...
Geologists Confirm Landmass Unable To Look After Local Girl’s Best Friend
TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact
Looking through the filthy plate glass windows of the Pisse Dans Ma Poche Cafe on Rue de Saudade this morning, Emma Castor couldn't...
Spraying Deodorant Over Naked Flame Still Cool According To Local Hellraiser
TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact
A 16-year-old Betoota Grove boy woke this morning with a sense of immense pride.
Last night Nick Green impressed...
