ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Though money is tight and festive cheer is at an all-time low, a troupe of local students have attempted to bring joy into their filthy home by erecting a humble Christmas tree.

But one man’s humble is another man’s pathetic.

Speaking to The Advocate this morning, Macy Peterson, a second-year graphic design student at South Betoota Polytechnic, said that even though a real tree was financially out of reach, she and her three other housemates made do.

“We all walked down to the føtex in Danish Town to scope out a tree but they were all over a hundred clams a pop so we said fuck that and went looking around the neighbourhood for a shrub or something,” she said.

“Matt, my housemate, jumped over this wall on Asmussens Alle and found some pencil pines or something in this rich bloke’s garden. He pulled one out of the ground and hoiked it over the wall. Then we legged it back home,”

“When we were in the føtex, Dylan, another housemate, gooched some tree decorations and a kilo of honey BBQ chicken wings from the deli so we’re all set I think. We planted it in our green bin and it looks great.”

When our reporter asked if they planned on exchanging gifts, the group said they weren’t planning on it but a dinner around the big day is in the pipeline.

Matt and Dylan are both planning on returning home in the coming days, leaving Macy and her other housemate alone over the holiday period.

Jennifer Galway, of the attic bedroom, said that Macy and her plan on having dinner and exchanging gifts – which are expected to be equally as pathetic and depressing as their Christmas tree.

“It’ll be nice,” she said.

“Just Mace and I, together on Christmas Eve, eating a BBQ chicken with a stale roll and coleslaw. When we’re older, we’ll miss these days.”

More to come.


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