Network Seven Confirm They Only Bought Broadcasting Rights Of The Speed Skating
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Network Seven has confirmed this morning to reporters that they purchased the broadcasting rights to the speed skating at...
Regional Man Visiting Home Says He’s Missed The Budget Ads On Local TV
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Brisbane-based accountant arrived home in Betoota Heights this morning after an arduous two-day journey.
The first thing he did...
Pungent Smell Of Longbeach Originals Successfully Masked By Lynx Africa
TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact
Smokers across the nation are today rejoicing at the ground-breaking results of a decade-long study into how best...
Middle-Class Stoner Moves Onto Hitchens After Lengthy Bill Hicks Phase
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact
Change is in their air in South Betoota as basement dweller Marty “Muzza” Willis (19) finally discovers Christopher Hitchens after...
Man Relives Childhood By Shotting Entire Packet Of Nerds Like It’s Tequila
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Nipping in to buy some rolling papers at the Clarence Road Milk Bar, a packet of Nerds caught Michael...
High School Bad Boy Forced To Now Live Life As Gay Man After Getting Wrong Ear Pierced
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A local bad ass teenager who's disengaged parents don't mind him rocking a diamante ear ring has today discovered that he is gay,...
Jesus Christ: Local Restaurant Has A Website That Actually Fucking Works
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A French Quarter young professional has had his socks blown off this afternoon after he navigated to the website for a popular local restaurant...
Local University Now Offering Millennials The Ability To Rent A Degree
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
In a controversial move, the board at Royal South Betoota Polytechnic will allow prospective students to rent their degrees from June this year.
Rather...
Small Town Custody Battle Theatrically Plays Out In Series Of Passionate Facebook Posts
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Over the last several months it appears that Betoota Ponds local, Shawn Thomas (26), has relayed his ongoing custody battle to the world,...
Elon Musk Checks Washing For Missing Wallet Before Realising It Was In His Car
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Elon Musk has accidentally shot his wallet into space, according to a SpaceX spokesman.
The South African-born founder reportedly spent hours this morning looking...
