Jamie Oliver Blamed For Rise In Unused Mortar And Pestles In Suburban Australia
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The rise of cluttered kitchen benches has been blamed solely on the iconic British celebrity chef, Jamie Oliver, who has for many...
Brave Frontline Workers Also Really Horny, Confirms Uni Students On Halloween
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Prominent members from the Queensland Nurses Union say that they are "100% okay" with their portrayal over the Halloween weekend, as uni...
Steven Bradbury Identified As Last Non-Dual Citizen Eligible For Parliament
In the recent wake of yet more Australian politicians being outed as dual-citizens, top economists and political commentators are speculating the most qualified non-dual...
Report: Dad Reckons Those Snags Should Be Good For A Turn
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In a rare example of micromanaging, dad has decided to sit out on the grilling of red meat today, and instead opted...
Local Piece Of Shit Can’t Handle Bec At Her Worst But Thinks He Deserves Her At Her Best
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In Central Betoota, reports are coming forward that local girl Rebecca (Bec) Lees is dating a man who can’t handle her at...
Local Man Hits Happiest Low Point As Kebab Shop Guy Asks If He’s Having ‘The Usual’
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
After a long day at work, featuring an early start, late finish and a passive-aggressive office-wide email about the state of the...
NBN Mail Out Urine Sample Jars As They Begin To Literally Take The Piss
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Contractors responsible for the National Broadband Network have today begun mailing out urine sample jars to frustrated Australians, as the failed infrastructure...
Club Promotor Just Wants To Thank Beautiful People For Being Part Of An Amazing Night
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
According to local club promotor Christian Van Der Veld (32), Betoota's premiere nightlife destination 'The Nightspot' was host to some of the...
Aussie Visiting America Surprised People Don’t Automatically Root Him For Being Aussie
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
An Australian visiting America has been very surprised that people don't treat him like some sort of demigod, even with his...
Nation’s Scaffolders Say Chur To The Mean Weather
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The rains currently battering the eastern seaboard have been a cause for great celebration for the nation's scaffolders today.
The predominantly Kiwi-Australian industry...
