Politics

Nationals Say Coalition Hasn’t Been This Divided Since The Libs Banned Them From Rooting Staff

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Tensions continue to rise in Canberra this week, after Scotty From Marketing was told to wait patiently until his coalition allies in the National Party are ready to admit to the climate science that they've actively been writing off as hippy rubbish for the last twenty years. The government is trying to gently convince the Nationals to support its...

“No… No! NOOOO!!!” Screams Scotty As ACT Re-Opens Pubs Before He Gets An Answer On Net Zero

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT THOSE DRUNKEN TOOTHLESS HICKS!! Barnaby Joyce says his party won't be "forced into a corner" on the government's proposed pathway to net zero carbon emissions by 2050. This comes after a week of Morrison trying to gently convince the Nationals to support his overnight decision to start listening to the scientists that have been tearing their hair out for...

Barnaby Says Main Concern For His Party Is Protecting Jobs Of Regional Australians In Canberra

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Deputy Prime Minister of Australia has today revealed the reason behind the Nationals hesitation on committing to Net Zero 2050. Speaking in parliament today after the mammoth 8 hour National Party meeting yesterday, Barnaby Joyce explained that he needs to do what is right for him and his colleagues. His comments come as pressure is heaped on...

Scotty Demands Social Media Companies Leave Misinformation To The Deranged Boomers At NewsCorp

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has called out social media companies for allowing people to vilify others and spread misinformation without consequences The PM flagged potential changes around digital accountability yesterday, as he labelled social media a “coward’s palace” where liars can “destroy people’s lives”. “ say the most foul and offensive things to people, and do so with...

Barnaby Urges Crack Down On Social Media Misinformation, Like All The Shit His Colleagues Post

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT The Deputy Prime Minister of Australia has decided to champion a new issue today, after it personally started affecting him and his way of life. Barnaby Joyce has called for a crackdown on misinformation on social media, following rumours being spread about a member of his family online. The leader of the Nationals said that it is absolutely...

“Freedom Was MY Idea!!!” Screams Scotty After Perrottet Steals His Thunder By Opening Pubs

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Scotty From Marketing has today yelled his way through a 30 minute press conference, after the terrifying realisation that he had missed an opportunity to take credit for something he'd had nothing to do with. After delaying Australia's jab roll-out by 6 months because he was too busy starting a trade war with China and Europe to even bother...

PM Guarantees Re-Election With Historically Successful Strategy Of Talking Shit About Queensland

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In what can only be described as another dummy spit from a man who is desperately trying to shift blame away from his catastrophic jab roll-out, Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has accused Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk of “holding the federal government to ransom”. Scotty had previously slammed Palaszczuk’s “shakedown politics” back in July - after she refused to...

Bloke Who Spent $660m On Pre-Election Car Parks Argues Against Need For Corruption Watchdogs

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing says the NSW anti-corruption watchdog that has forced the resignation of several NSW premiers and the incarceration of more than two dozen state MPs, is a 'real problem'. It comes after NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian announced on Friday she would resign as NSW Premier and from parliament after the state’s Independent Commission Against Corruption...

“Where The Hell Is Everyone?” Shouts Scotty In Empty ANZ Stadium

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT The Prime Minister has been left in a state of confusion after showing up to watch the NRL Grand Final in his home state of NSW. After failing to answer his work phone, the Prime Minister’s inner ring began a series of thinking exercises to determine where Scotty would be using Scotty logic. “OK it’s Sunday, maybe he’s at church...

Hot Mess Gladys Blames Mercury Retrograde For Alleged Corruption That Led To Her Resignation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Politicians from all parties, journalists, public figures and Prime Minister Scott Morrison have been quick to praise the outgoing New South Wales Premier Gladys Berejiklian this afternoon - in what can only be described as a breathtaking insight into how Australia's political class view major corruption as simply part of the job. Ms Berejiklian today resigned from her position...

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