Politics

Inner-City Voter On $250K Salary With No Mortgage Worries Albo Isn’t Connecting To The People

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As the screws tighten around a possible Federal Election in the next four months, the comrades of the light-rail are beginning to grow concerned that their party won't be able to get it over the line. While Scotty From Marketing's incompetencies as a world leader have somehow managed penetrate through Murdoch's forcefield of the most biased media monopoly in...

“I Reject That!” Scotty Tells Local GP After Being Informed He Could Eat A Few More Vegetables

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Scotty From Marketing has today once again proven that he is very capable of living in a fantasy land where he never has to consider or accept the repercussions of his actions. Speaking to his local GP today during a general check up today, Scotty was informed that his diet of marinara pizzas and Vanilla Coke is in no...

Morrison Tries To Steal A Few Handshakes Off International Leaders Like They’re Bushfire Victims

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact The nation's Prime Minister has done what he does best on the world stage this week. Scotty from Marketing has gone out all guns blazing at the G20 summit today, to try and get the best shots for his team of photographers. Appearing at the conference for world leaders in Italy's capital Rome, Scotty reportedly wasted no time...

ICAC Finds Daryl Maguire Probably Not Gonna Have Too Much Luck On The Dating Scene After This

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Today's ICAC inquiries have revealed that disgraced former Wagga MP Daryl Maguire is not gonna have too much luck on the NSW Riverina dating scene moving forward. This comes after the public was treated to a fairly grim insight into how he treats the women he is allegedly 'personally involved with' - as investigators continue to unveil The watchdog has...

Government Proposes Very Exciting And Not At All Worrying Plan To Make Voting More Difficult

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In some very exciting news out of Canberra this week, it seems the Morrison government are hoping ban any citizens from voting unless they can present a specific form of identification. The bill, which passed the Coalition party room on Tuesday but is yet to be introduced to parliament, looks a lot like the American past time of voter...

Government That Spent 9 Years Gutting CSIRO Now Relying On Yet-To-Be-Invented Technology To Deliver Net Zero

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After 9 years of ridiculing scientists and hiding all research surrounding alarming climate change trends, the Federal Government has declared they have a plan to reach net zero emissions by 2050. Just 48 hours before he boards a flight to Glasgow, Scotty From Marketing and the Energy minister Angus Taylor used the word "plan" up to 100 times in...

Gina Rhinehart Forgets To Exit Through Secret Side Door After Nationals Net Zero Discussions

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After two weeks of slaving over the decision to turn their backs on the only political ideology they have ever stood for, the National Party has reluctantly agreed to sign up to a net zero emissions target by 2050. This comes despite the opposition of leader Barnaby Joyce and other major players within the Morrison government's inconveniently rural allies. Their...

PM: “We Blocked The Inquiry Because If The Public Knew The Truth, Our Heads Would Be On Pikes”

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A cheerful Scott Morrison fronted the media this morning with the hopes of putting all the unpleasantness of the past two years behind him and his government. However, the issue of said government blocking the inquiry into who funded former Attorney-General Christian Porter's legal fight against the ABC and esteemed journalist Louise Milligan is still...

Nats Unveil Net Zero Plan: “Okay. So We Won’t Touch Mining And Gas… But We Shoot Every Cow”

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With less than a fortnight until he is scheduled to land in Glasgow to pretend he gives a fuck about the future of the planet, Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing is still waiting for his National Party colleagues to sign off on his plan to compromise literally every industry they've ever made promises to. It is believed that Scotty...

PM Tells Everyone To Notify Him When They’ve Made The Tough Decisions So He Can Start Packing For Glasgow

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Scotty From Marketing has reportedly asked one of his staffers to notify him when his coalition colleagues has made the tough decision to sign up to Net Zero Emissions, so that he can start packing his bags for another trip overseas to be photographed with the Queen and the US President. This comes after a week of scrambling by...

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