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WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local man has today come to terms with the reality that has set in around him.  Namely the fact that he’s living in mildly European-like conditions for the next few months.  With daylight savings now besetting Betoota, local Heights man Brayden Iosefo has decided to sort himself out.  “Yeah, I got a PlayStation 5,” he laughed to us after trudging...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Australians are breathing easier today after the Reserve Bank put an end to the successive interest rate hikes that have taken place over the past year. RBA Boss Philip Lowe addressed the media in Sydney moments ago, where he was received with great fanfare. "That'll do, pig," he said. "That'll do. That's all. Have a good day." Armed...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "We should've just stayed in a hotel," sighed some southern yuppie as she sat on her suitcase in the hallway of a French Quarter apartment complex. Her partner sighed. "Well, it's too late now. I'm calling them." The power is out at Apartment 15 inside the fabled Pile de Rats building and down at the common fuseboard...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A young French Quarter professional has had the fright of her life over the weekend after waking from a dream where she was sounding a lot like her father when it came to explaining what is to blame for the nationwide housing crunch. Though the government is mashing people into our cities and towns at...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A cattle farmer from our town's northern fringe bought himself a Range Rover last week because he had the money and wanted one. Eduardo Green, 55, had an upbringing that made Prime Minister Anthony Albanese look like a Christopher Pyne. He now commands one of the lower Diamantina's largest cattle portfolios. Over the years, he...

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A bloke going on a Melbourne trip with his girlfriend has been warned to allow at least an hour for some laneway photoshoots, though even that might be a severe underestimate. Ben Stewart and May Reilly are alleged to have booked a trip during Melbourne’s busiest time of the year outside of the AFL finals, with an...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Pauline Hanson has begun the task of mopping up after her New South Welsh counterpart this week after a series of deleted tweets aimed at a prominent Sydney politician were met with widespread anger. The tweets are unfit to print as they are of an extremely graphic and offensive nature. They were, however, targeted towards...

ALISON SCHENK | Entertainment | Contact For young Flight Path District couple Jayce (31) and Gwynevere (30), buying their first property was an incredible milestone. A milestone that obliterated 10 years of hard earned savings and any possibility of recouping it for the next 25-30 years, but a milestone nonetheless.  Due to the fact that their affordable entry point into the property market was a...

CLYDE ROYAL |Western News| Contact A veteran froth king has tried to improve the pouring skills of a local bartender, this week - with some unwanted advice.  “Mate, love the pour. Could you get the glass angle closer to 45 degrees though?” were the words heard by bartender Jansko Klein, a German backpacker 2 months into his 3 month stint at this establishment.  These...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The nation's peak scientific body has released a new report into how much this planet is fucked this week which concluded that Earth will be hotter than Doug Bollinger's scalp by the middle of this century. In the wake of Glenn McGrath's retirement after the 2006-07 Ashes, a bowling spot in the Australian cricket Test...