DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT
There’s nothing more symbolic of being a boss in the steamy waters of corporate finance than wearing a sleeveless puffer jacket.
But sleeveless puffer jackets are known in wider society to be stupid and useless, so much so that whoever wears one is considered the same.
So how do you safely send the signal that you’re a sleeveless puffer jacket-wearing boss climbing the corporate ladder when wider society thinks you’re a useless idiot?
Well, simply ignore the reputational risks as they arise. And the main ones are:
YOU’RE A WANKER: Human instinct means strangers make split second judgments about you based on your clothing. And it is instinctually ingrained in us to consider someone wearing a sleeveless puffer jacket a wanker because why else would someone wear cold weather attire that has no sleeves?
Still, ignore the fact everyone thinks you’re a wanker. Stay true to yourself and become the corporate fat cat you so desperately want to be.
UNORIGINAL DULLARD: You no doubt bought your first sleeveless puffer jacket because you saw a lot of your corporate betters wearing them. And without another thought you bought one because that’s what corporate sheeple do.
While you may not understand fashion enough to make sound clothing choices, you do work in an industry that demonises original thought. So it’s understandable why you’d just buy whatever thing it is your colleagues seem to think is cool right now.
Don’t beat yourself up, just keep your head down at work, do what they tell you and in 30 years you could be an executive and imagine the number of these jackets you’ll own by then!
NO REALLY, YOU’RE A WANKER: This is a similar reputational risk to the first, but it’s here to drive the message home that continuing to choose to wear soullessly bland jackets that make no practical sense will always be a difficult choice to make.
Because people will always think if you wear one then you must have a personality like a 13yr old boy masturbating into a tube sock. That is to say, a wanker.
Don’t let this stop you from being the symbol of corporate finance bossness. Ignore the haters and buy your next sleeveless puffer jacket today.
