LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A culture frozen in time is begging for sweet release today, as the sourdough starter that’s been in the freezer since lockdown ended begs for death.
One of the most ancient forms of bread, sourdough is known for its tangy flavour, resistance to butter knives, and for entirely usurping Turkish bread in Australian cafes.
Additionally, sourdough is known for having a labour intensive baking procedure which takes a minimum of one week if you are making your own sourdough starter with flour, water, and wild yeast.
This difficult baking procedure delighted the caucasion community during the spicy cough as many people were forced indoors allowing for more time to be spent doing something that our ancestors would have been glad to be rid of.
However, once we were allowed outdoors again, sourdough starters around the world began dying a painful death as their owners switched feeding them with fresh flour and water for doing literally anything else.
But for the unfortunate few sourdoughs whose owners swore they would bake a loaf again, they have suffered a slow eternal fall away from the land of the living and are now begging for death.
“P-p-please…j-j-just let me die,” the sourdough starter in a Betoota freezer told The Advocate.
“I have sh-shared my life with y-you. All I ask n-now is that you let me d-die.”
At the time of writing, the owner of the frozen sourdough culture promises they will eventually use the sourdough starter again, once they have baked banana bread with the 50 brown bananas in the freezer.
