EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
Looking at an old taco mix she’d long abandoned to the depths of her cupboard, local woman Hannah McDowell [26] thinks she may be ready.
Ready to finally free herself the shackles of self imposed perfectionism and enter goblin mode, which had been a side to herself she’d been hiding for the first six months of the relationship.
For you see, like half of the female population, Hannah suffers from terrible gluten intolerance. So bad in fact, that eating one small bowl of pasta will result in her looking as though she is in her first trimester of pregnancy, which she won’t be able to get rid of for at least a week. An unfairly large price to pay for the simple act of enjoying a delicious meal.
But after sticking to tasteless gluten free pasta and cutting out every type of food worth living for, Hannah has decided that she’s fucking over it – a conclusion she came to during Easter, when she ate what was possibly the saddest looking hot cross bun in existence.
“I just can’t do it anymore”, Hannah had revealed to her best mate one late Friday night, “I’m sick of eating cardboard.”
“I’d rather shit sideways for a week.”
Deeming the relationship now both strong and comfortable enough for her to stop keeping up appearances, Hannah was later seen buying an ungodly amount of processed food at her local Woollies.
More to come.
