FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT
As blame continues to be passed around for the comparative lack of newsworthy pranks pulled by the outgoing classes of 2019, some experts claim the root of the problem can be traced to fuel prices.
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The cost of a litre of regular unleaded reached a high of just under $1.50 in mid-September following the attacks on the Saudi Aramco oil processing facilities and have been slow to return to normal.
Supreme Dictator of the P&C Association of Australia, Sheryl Grimstone, said high fuel prices definitely played a part in producing underwhelming pranks which could have been a lot more impressive if the students could afford enough petrol.
“In my day, the outgoing class burned a very rude limerick into the cricket oval which made fun of the Principal, Mr. Wickhead. It took us all night to carry out and used about 100 litres of fuel, which cost us $10.94. Today, that amount of money would only buy about 7 litres of petrol, which is barely big enough for a decent-sized dick.”
“If the price of fuel doesn’t come down before September of 2020, we could see a repeat of these lame pranks which don’t result in the cancellation of a single Year 12 Formal. Even Tracy Grimshaw couldn’t find a decent prank to be alarmed about this year.”
Craig Chapman, Former Betoota High School SRC Head said his 2019 outgoing class’ big plans were scuppered by unreasonable fuel prices.
“We could only afford enough petrol for a dick, and it wasn’t even a good one; it was barely life-sized. We had this awesome plan to make fun of Mr. Duckwit, the Principal. It would have been genius; 5m tall letters saying “Mr. Duckwit eats ass.””
“Classic.”
