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In the Inner city Betoota federal division of Mimimi, one local voter has today vowed to use his vote to teach Scott Morrison a lesson in the Federal Election next March.
How? By voting 1 Greens in both the lower and upper house.
Wyatt Enrich (32) says he’s never really thought much about the power he wields as a comfortable urban professional with a disposable income and 1.5 kids crammed into a heritage-defying rendered terrace house.
But after his favourite Prime Minister of all time was rolled in a messy lib spill in 2018, he’s been on a mission to oust the Happy Clapper that replaced him.
“We need to be focusing on tech and renewables” Says Wyatt.
“I come from a long line of Labor voters, but Turnbull had won me over from Shorten on that one”
“and now Morrison has spent two years redefining what a shit Prime Minister looks like. The hotel quarantine, the jab roll-outs, the womens safety, the submarines, the social media shut down, the lying”
“So, considering I am far too proud, and wealthy, to transition back to Labor…”
“I’m voting Greens!”
While Greens senate candidate can usually depend on stray votes from Wyatt’s particular demographic, who usually feel too guilty to tick green in both houses – 2022 looks like the year that inner-Betoota’s local Greens lower house candidates will finally leverage the support from this furious voter block of jaded enviro-bros and water birth mums.
However, what appears lost on voters like Wyatt, is that all he’s doing is making it harder to overthrow a Morrison Government.
“Labor are a bit too, you know… uniony” says Wyatt.
“A bit bogan”
“I know this seat has been Labor forever, but I don’t work in a fucken factory. I’m voting Greens”
Local Greens candidate Andy Vaxxer (22) says this is exactly the voter detachment he had been banking on.
“Just months ago I was a deregistered paramedic who was facing criminal charges for stealing and on-selling green whistles” he says.
“Now I’m basically locked in for a six figure salary for the next three years haha”
“Remember, a vote for me, is a vote for saying fuck you Scomo!”
