LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
What was meant to be a heart warming and lung destroying smoko between an inner circle of work colleagues turned to absolute shit as the manager joined the group, in a desperate attempt to socialise with the people who hate him.
It is believed Site Manager Daly Wayne (44) is yet to gain the respect of his crew, due to starting most conversations with ‘how’s tricks?’ and ending them with ‘alright, back to work now.’
In an act of carcinogenic defiance, many members of Wayne’s team have begun taking group dart breaks to treat their brains to sweet nicotine and their souls to whispered assertions that their boss is a total fuck.
All that changed earlier today at approximately 10:30 am, when Wayne chimed in on the dart break as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
“Anyone got a light?” he asked in a symbolic representation of his organisational skills.
“And a durry?”
Unable to say any of the things they really wanted to say during the smoke break, Wayne filled in the awkward silence with stories about his juvenile delinquency.
“Oi, did I ever tell you guys I saw Gunners when they came over in 94? I think I’ve already told you this story…I’ll say it anyway…”
Members of the usual smoke group stated that not only did Wayne deprive them all of an enjoyable escape from their daily duties but he failed to properly smoke the cigarette that was provided to him.
“Bum puffed the whole thing,” said dart provider Mitch Gere (29).
“I’ve got a deck of menthols at home I accidentally bought from a pub ciggie machine four years ago, he’s getting those from now on if he asks again. Dart-scabbing break-ruining short-man-syndrome little fuck.”
