LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In what was a dramatic race, it has since been confirmed the hugger beat the handshaker to the greeting, in a meeting between two people who only kind of know each other.
While both sides showed promise early on, the outstretched arms of hugger Lauren Smith, trumped the tentative centred hand of shaker Alex Barnes who was quickly able to adjust his arms in time for the embrace.
In a brief statement by Barnes, the 31 year old explains his defeat and how he plans to move forward.
“[I] thought because we didn’t know each other very well that we’d go for the handshake but she clearly had other ideas. It’s difficult to say whether we can go back to a handshake now but I will be trying.”
“Perhaps I’ll need to be more confident with my outstretched hand next time.
Hugger Lauren Smith is absolutely ecstatic with today’s results.
“We’ve got another hugger ladies and gentlemen! Yes, we didn’t know each other that well, but a hug is a great way to get to know someone! Whoooo! Hug wins!”
Group hugs are taking place across the nation as hugging fans celebrate today’s victory.
For handshakers, the taste of defeat is becoming all too familiar. Head of the Handshakers Alliance Sam Haker (50) said today’s defeat is just one in a series of institutionalised bias that favours hugs over shakes.
“Some people don’t like the feeling of another weird, pudgy human form pressed up against them between two layers of clothes. It’s a basic right to not want to get hugged yet we rarely see it exercised in polite society and that has to change.”
In a direct response, head of the Australian Huggers Association, Richard Di Natale only had this to say to Sam Haker.
“Sound like someone needs a hug mate!”
“Get over here”
More to come.
